I don't like change, I've decided. I don't like it until it becomes normal again. I want someone to talk to about anything and everything but I'm afraid I've lost all of those people thanks to my good friend, change. I guess what I miss most is you.
I'm tired of having dreams about you that cause me to wake up with panic attacks. I miss having you around but there's absolutely nothing I do about it. So then I find myself actually hoping that I do dream about you just to get a little comfort on some aspect.
I don't want to move away. I never really enjoyed holidays, but I'm very sad that I wont be spending them with my family this year. I think I've maybe finally figured out what is most important in life, and it is NOT what I thought it was.
Anyway. I know change has to happen, but I'm tired of the changes being depressing ones. Maybe moving away will bring something new and, hopefully, great. I mean it's only for five months, right?
I just don't want to lose more than I already have.
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