hmm.

Life can be so cruel sometimes. Since you've passed away I just feel like everything in my life has been different. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, makes me think of you. Today I passed a golf course and thought of when we used to go play golf together. You asked me once if I actually enjoyed playing or if I just went to spend time with you, because I was "actually good at it". I wish that you could have played longer.

Something in the air changed.

Something changed in the everyday things that used to make me so happy.

Sometimes I look at my dad's eyes when he smiles...I can tell when he is truly happy because when he smiles his eyes look different; they change.

His eyes don't glisten when he smiles anymore.

I wish I knew what to say to make everything okay.

I wish that he wouldn't have that sadness in his eyes.

But then, life is cruel.

Life takes away the things you love most...

I feel so grateful to have a someone in my life that keeps me breathing.

He reminds me of how truly beautiful life can be.

You would have loved him, Grandpoo.

He's the funniest, sweetest person I have ever met.

Of course you most likely would've questioned him to no end.

But eventually, you would have caved in.

I remember when we were all eating lunch together one day and Shirley was feeding you, and you gave her a look; that special look.

The way you look at someone when you truly love and appreciate them completely.

...

You would have seen that look between him and I, and I think...I know...you'd fall in love with him too.

I miss you and love you as always.

Still not getting easier.

Goodnight.