i'll find my rainbow soon.

How can it be that you still have a hold on me.
Wash away. You weren't here to stay.
I close my eyes and all I can see,
is a stranger, disguised as you; staring at me.
Worse than the cruelest insult i've taken.
The way you see me, the way you react to me; I was mistaken.
Once told I was a worthless piece of shit
and it couldn't get much worse.
But you screaming and calling me names,
well that took the place of first.
How can one person hurt you so much?
How can I want to hate you, and still be in your clutch?
I don't want to hear your opinions of me.
I don't even want an apology.
It's too late for everything, anything; gone.
It's too late for good memories, for now those are not strong.
I hate thinking of you, and seeing your name.
I hate when people ask why you're gone and reply with, "that's a shame."
A shame? Yes, it's true. That it is.
But matters of the heart often dissolve and fizz.
Nothing stays perfect, perhaps that's true.
I always thought it was different with you.
I'm okay, and i'll tell you why.
For five nights in a row, I do not fall asleep as I cry.
I'm certain it's because i'm in such a daze.
The way you spoke to me created such a haze.
You'll never understand, and I no longer fret.
For the fear of you ceasing to love me is no longer a threat.